LAX: Light Motion Dreams: Update.
"_where are you, eddie money?" (12/19/06)

Ironic thing about this comic, the dialog in the first panel was different. The alternative version featured Chris and Emily talking about The Burger King. The comic was already finished when I decided to change it. Why? Well blame Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. (or blame Eddie Money)

I'm planning something very special for LAX. I'm thinking about making it into a love sim-esque interactive flash comic. Where every decision affects the story line (Basically, the game will become like Indigo Prophecy. And if you never played Prophecy... Well. Ha. You are missing out on a wonderful game.) I'm working on this little sample that shall be released sometime in Janurary. Watch out for it (like, AIDS or something.)

LAX: Light Motion Dreams: Update.
"LAX re(mixed) by Pink Diapers" (12/19/06)

So, I took part in that wonderfully awesome Comic Remix. Pink Diapers of Changing Worlds was the awesome person to remix my comic. The said comic remixed was this one. This image just rocks, there's no way for me to describe how good and awesome it looks. Look at it, both Emily and Chris drawn in a way so much better than mine. I love the their expressions and everything (the plane and the background is also pretty damn kickass). Thanks Pink, I love it.



My remix was that of Tantz Aerine's Wolf. An awesome mystery comic that you should give a read. I had fun remixing Wolf. The page I remixed was this one, my version is here. I actually redrew the comic two times, since the finished product was not "awesomesauce." In the end, it all worked out okay, which is awesome by me.

I'm so taking part in the next Comic Remix. (happy face emoticon here.)

Speaking of people drawing my comic, I got this cute little picture by BigFish. It was made on that Pictionary game over at Yahoo Games. It's so very cute!

...and yeah. I'm tired.

Since I have no update, and I did spend all Saturday trying to write a review, I shall post this review of some webcomic called Big Fish Comics by bigfishcomics here. It will appear on The Dish Monthly shortly.

I fail at many things, say athletics, being friendly, socialism (that's a skill now), drawing webcomics, many, many things, the list is endless. Everytime I view a webcomic on the internet, the main character is either a pretty boy that loves taking it from his boy lover, a gamer with a passion for games, or some sort of fantasy crap (I hate trees).


(clubbing and everything else.)

The thing about Big Fish Comics is the cynicalism of it all, the girl, who has no name, reacts coldly to everything around her. She couldn't care if her friend's adorable big dog gets eaten by her fish (who does end up eating both her grampa, and her boyfriend) There's a sense of slacker-dom in this comic. This girl lives a boring life and wants something else, something exciting. In essence (I say that to sound smart), she wants something new in her life that shall bring excitement. Case and point, look at the Girl's reactions when she first met her boyfriend, she was excited. Eventually that became a drag, and thus it was another brick in the wall of boring.

Big Fish Comics is a slice of life comic, there is no story, so it's pretty damn simple to jump in. It's the kinda comic that can drag you in with one page and make you read the entire archive.

Big Fish's jokes deserve a quick chuckle, these aren't Perry Fellowship Bible-esque jokes, they won't make you "WAFFLE" (you know, "rolling on the floor laughing") but they do require you to think a little (not much, though.) Is this dry humor? You could say that, it's more like developed dry humor. There's no punchline here (metaphorically speaking), the humor lies deeply rooted inside the actions of the characters. These characters ring true to real life, making it funny (the, "hey, that's pretty damn funny, and it's so true to real life." kinda humor). Although there are a few stinkers in the archive (I can name one). The writing in Big Fish is solid, aside from some comics which just aren't up to par.

It doesn't take much to know the personalities of each character. The Girl is bored with her mediocre life and thus has a bored expression on her face, the Boyfriend tries to hard to impress The Girl and is probably needy. As for the Fish, well, he (or she) likes to eat everything.


(chew with your mouth closed. eh?)

I can tell you one thing, the Fish does excellent work as a bringer of a quick Deus Ex Machima, with the quick killing (read, eating) of the boyfriend and all. The Girl's cold reply, "Chew with your mouth closed" wraps things perfectly. That's the perfect example of Big Fish's cynical humor. Either you like it, or you don't. That's the thing about these slice of life comics.

The art style, as with the humor, you either love it or hate it. There's no mindblowing stuff here. It's a very simple style that flows with cute. It consists of line-less characters and environments, thus it has to rely on colors, which are well done. The characters all have their reactions, and you can, without a doubt, tell them apart. One thing I dislike about the line-less art style is that at times you can't make some of the stuff out, say for example the hands of the characters.

Big Fish Comics is hosted at two places, one at the main site, and the other at DrunkDuck. The main site is made up of Flash and is quite simple to navigate. The flash layout is somewhat out there while still being here, futuristic but still down to modern times. The neat thing is the little animation at the top, it's like an aquarium of some sorts where Fish and some other animals float around.

There's standard webcomic fair on the site, the About pages, the Archive, and one little thing that makes this site a little different, the author (who I assume is hot.) actually has some manga for download. Yeah, manga. That's pretty darn generous of her.

Navigation of the archives is simple. You can either pick from two choices, read the comic front to back, or pick from the list. If you pick from the list, you only get the original .swf file, no next comic, or last comic radio buttons. If you pick the front to back archive, you have to start from the beginning and read all the way to the ending. Navigation of the comic can be better though.


(dress up can bring hours of fun, especially with fish.)

There are few extras on this site, a little flash movie, a flash intro, a flash puzzle (one of the hardest ever, the more I beat it, the harder it seems to get.) and the cream of the crop. A little dress-up game which features The Girl, The Boyfriend, and Big Fish that brings hours of fun. (Looking back, that "beating" thing sounds so wrong... ;_;)

The DrunkDuck mirror is made out of pure HTML, which looks exactly like the Flash site, but works better (navigation is much easier). One thing I noticed about the DrunkDuck mirror is the way the HTML was probably coded by some sort of super-genius that knows a thing or two about HTML. Who made it? I will never know.

So in the end, you either love Big Fish for it's cynical slice of life humor, or you hate it for either a. the gags aren't what make that cold funny bone of yours chuckle, or b. you utterly hate the art style. If you choose either a or b, you are superficial.

Myxo's Score: 88 out of 100.
(cute comic that is lovable, but it depends on what you like.)

LAX: Light Motion Dreams: Update.
"LAX Christmas Special!" (12/19/06)

Heh, I kinda love this page, it was an experiment with colors that went horribly wrong. Thankfully the grayscale kicked in and saved the picture. See, the grayness give this picture and early dawn kinda feel. I love that. Also, there's also a reference to that sneaky Captain Obvious.

(That 'Sand'man man kinda looks like the one I made a while ago at the beach)

O_o

Aside that. I have something in store for you readers of LAX. Yes, it's a little gift from me. What is it? Seven songs up for download. Why? LAX is about music, I like music and I want to share it with you. So please, enjoy. I handpicked everyone of these songs. From Primitive Radio Gods to Mark Isham.

(Sure you coulda downloaded these off of LimeWire. Whatever.)

Geez, Holidays suck. A friend told me that Holidays are depressing to people without lovers, all the while looking at me. What does that mean? Well, It means I'm so cold to holidays because I have no one to love (or a lover in essence). Frankly, I love not having to worry about presents, acceptance, and all that melodramatic love stuff. It's fun being alone, and sure, it does have it's down moments. But you know, it's fun.

I'm not gonna pretend that it's not lonely spending the holidays alone, it truly is. Now excuse me, I'm gonna go to the mall later on and try bring down those happy couples doing last minute Christmas shopping. I shall wear black, talk in an emo tone, and try to be depressed. Maybe I can get some pity, or some looks. Oh, what fun Christmas is.

I find this suspicious. You all know I have my heart set on going to the The Art Institute of California (No, not the one in San Fransisco.) Anyways, I decided to go for a tour, I look it up and find something very interesting. It's near-by LAX.

Wow.

LAX: Light Motion Dreams: Update.
"_truth(fully) dishonet" (12/19/06)

Hey, look. LAX finally shows some emotion and character insight! That is truly something that is not normal. In fact, I think there's a glitch in the matrix somewhere. All kidding aside, I have nothing against this company called "truth" let them spread their message of whatever. I just think that someone should have the right to kill themselves if they want to. That's all.

I decided what I'm gonna review for The Dish Monthly, it a webcomic called Big Fish Comics by some author whose name I can't remember at the moment. Let me ask a theoretical question, how awesome can a comic about a big fish be? (Unless if the comic is not all about the big fish and is really about some average girl.) Yeah, expect that by Friday or Saturday.

I'm on vacation (I'm enjoying every single little bit of it.) which means I have a lot of free time, and by a lot, I mean, "I could fucking make a movie out of Legos, lot of time." Aside from finishing the new main page, which is still not ready to go live but is fully functional. I decided to venture in the world of something strange, fetishes. Yes, I am making a toy car sex site. Oh yes.

Now, on to the youtube video.

LAX: Light Motion Dreams: Update.
"concerto for a rainy day: time to say something." (12/07/06)

Last night I mocked up a small concept for the new links page, it's simple, and it tells you all you need to know about the exit sites (or links as they say.) Here's the link to the "beta" HTML, it's still in the early stages. All it needs are more links (Furniture Porn), better descriptions (most of the stuff on there is filler), and actual links (Yeah, see).

In the process of mocking up HTML concepts, I made this. A new homepage for LAX. One that removes the comic from the main site and adds it to another part of the site. The main page includes only a blog post, the shoutbox, and a picture. Separated from the main page, the comic resides on it's own page, with only the page, the page title, and my little descriptions. Which is better, original or newer? Hell if I know. It was still fun coding these things up.

Why did I do that? I'm on vacation, man.

...It's awesome, I took a nap, I played some Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, and I drew a filler which for fuck's sake, I'm not posting. Vacation is a wonderful thing in this life, you know.

So I finished Indigo Prophecy (or Fahrenheit to the rest of the world), and it was fantastic. One of the better games I've played, I loved the music in this. Fantastic stuff. The ending song really matches the feeling of the end, Theory of a Deadman's "Santa Monica" was the perfect way to end this interactive movie. David Cage, you are a fucking genius with your perfect directing skills and using music wisely in this video game. Hey, speaking of Santa Monica, anyone remember that song, er, "Santa Monica" by Everclear? Yeah.

(Everclear and Everlast, I always get these two mixed up.)

My region of mod ship over this internet is expanding ever so slightly. It first started with a little modship over at DrunkDuck, as a mod for the Help section. Sam then called on me for modship over at the new comic hosting place, ComicDish. It started with being a mod for the Help Section and the Game section, then it evolved into being the editor for the ComicDish Help Guide, and then, finally, it transformed into becoming a full site admin for the place. Later on, I was promoted to Global Mod at BlueGlassComics and now, I'm a staff member for the LeFarce Network. People, people. I am slowly taking over these great internets.

(This either proves one of two things: a. I'm a valuable asset to whatever site I'm on or b. I have to much fucking time on my hands to actually accomplish all of this, your choice. Whatever.)

You know, being a mod at DrunkDuck has it's cooler features, like for one. Platiunm Studios give a "special thanks" to their mods. What do I mean by that? "As a special thanks, we'd like to send you a free copy of the Cowboys & Aliens book signed by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg ( Creator )." That's pretty fucking awesome.

Oh shit, I forgot to write a little review for the Dish Monthly. I'm stumped for ideas, I could either review the the Stereophonics album, You Gotta Go There to Come Back, the webcomic, Big Fish Comics by bigfish, or the video games Indigo Prophecy by Quantic Dream or Sneak King by BK Games. I have no idea what to do, I ask you, you two readers of this lowly blog, what would you prefer reading?

And hey, LAX gets reviewed to more times, this time actually somewhat good: Let's check in on the top reviews that my little webcomic received:

"This first thing that comes to mind is that it's tough to make out what's what in a lot of the panels. Most of your characters look similar and most are drawn the same way as the background. There's not a lot to tell me where they are in relation to each other or in relation to what's around them.

Please don't take that as a dis on your artistic ability. The stuff in #9 (6-26-06) is really nice. I think you just need to make the characters stand out more, make the panels a bit bigger (from what you've been doing lately). Maybe experiment with some small additions of color. "

and,

"The artwork is nice, but very ... um ... flat. The characters blend into the background.

The "strips" that are audio (such as #27) are fine, but you may wish to scatter them around a bit more, rather than having them bunched together. There's about five or six in a row. Or maybe put artwork as well as audio on the one page. (If they are both there, I'm not seeing both).

As a suggestion, you could have, in lieu of artwork, a block of text which represents an internal monlogue and suggest to the reader that they have the audio playing in the background whilst they read the story."

Wow, I had a lot of shit to say. Let's call it a night.

LAX: Light Motion Dreams: Update.
"_ the future of tomorrow. or something like it." (12/07/06)

Early update today, why? Because I felt like it.

Well, this is about as accurate to the real LAX as you will ever see in a webcomic (unless someone starts another webcomic about an airport. Which is unlikely.) I can actually name the locations seen in this comic, as such, the first panel is Runway 24R (which can be seen here.) The second is an unknown baggage claim, which I totally forgot where it was. The third panel is the very top of Terminal 5 (which can be seen here.) and last but not least? The last panel features the Encounter Restaurant. You know, that weird ass white building.

There's something that eats me up inside whenever I draw a background by myself. They seem too, generic airport-ish. I hate that. To keep me from driving myself insane, I'll totally use images as inspiration. That's the only way to due it right. Naturally, since I drew this page out of four pictures, I feel pretty damn proud of it, nothing can bring me down. Hell, I feel like that Kanye West song. Aside from the fact that I don't want to fuck everything I see, and I totally don't believe I should be in the bible.

There's many references to things that will probably (maybe) never happen. Like say, finding WMDs in Iraq. That's totally my joke, everyone bashes Bush. So I'll do the reverse and prove he was right in my alternative universe (It's set in 2008, people.) As for the President Walken thing, that can be true, if you vote for him. Imagine Christopher Walken, the famous actor, the man that stared in that music video for Fatboy Slim, as our president. I'd totally vote for him. Also, this page makes a reference to an earthquake in San Fransisco.

Now here's something interesting for you about what happened at LAX recently. An old man got tasor'd by airport police. Whose fault was it? Watch the FOX 11 news report on it, then watch the actual LAX Security Cam footage. The next Rodney King? You decide.

(no.)

LAX: Light Motion Dreams: Update.
"disc2: x+y = the traffic in the sky." (12/07/06)

There was a little change in the site, I removed those horrid gray borderlines that the HTML tables displayed, they were horrible, and ugly. The site is alot more streamlined. Now there is a good balance of white and gray. Other adjustments to the site was the new menu, I replaced the old one, which was lacking, broken, and just, whatever'd. One major change in the site is the new page headers, which are all free use (according to Creative Commons.) Why? I support the Creative Commons license, and my pictures are all under that very same free use license, so there. The About page was also updated

I like this title page, it's very minimalistic. The picture was also great, it was something I snapped on the Harbor Freeway at night, truly a great shot (or so I think.) The link to the full size version of the picture seen in the cover (and in color) is right here. The picture is titled, "Crash into the Downtown Lights."

One thing I want an opinion on is this, should I retain my good ole' blogger account, or totally continue blog updating at Wordpress? Give me your opinion on that, dear chaps.

So, I went to the LA Auto Show, the best auto show in Los Angeles, which is now entering it's 100th year. This year marked a massive change in show dates. Instead of being held for a week in January, it is now held for a week in December. This week was that week. Anyways, I packed my ass up, got to the LA Convention Center, and went to the Auto Show.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love going here, I've go every year. The coolest thing ever was, just when paying the tickets, some random dude comes up to me and says, "here, have these. I don't need them." What did he give me? Four "Complimentary Auto Show" tickets. That saved some money. So what was wrong this year?

Aside from Mitsubishi having a small showing, Maserati shunned to the South Hall, and expensive food. One thing was very evident. I was alone. There was no one there I could talk too. From the gangs of friends hanging around, checking out cars, to those couples having a merry cheerful time. I was just there, taking pictures of whatever the hell interested me, alone.

What's that do to a person? It makes one think. Is your life better for choosing to be alone, or is it better than being with people that you hate? It's a tough question, really. Oh, well. It's the life I choose, and it's totally awesome. So don't feel bad for me. There's always Mr. Night to cheer me up from whatever brings me down (totally not like that Kanye West song.)

Now I present to you this: Pictures of Crap that Interested Me at Los Angeles Auto Show. (as taken from flickr.)

LAX: Light Motion Dreams: Update.
"Beautifully Strange" Part 2" (12/07/06)

Hmm, today I was not gonna update. I was just gonna post a filler, fall asleep and do whatever the hell I do on a regular basis. I was swamped, and I didn't want to draw today. In the end, things lead to other things, and now I'm here, with a new update called "Beautifully Strange" Part 2, the last comic for morning becomes eclectic chapter.

I love how this little flash movie came out, I just love it. What's amazing is the fact that it took about three hours to put together, a new record. From drawing the comic to making the flash. I managed to get my lazy ass to draw and make this page. The airport sounds played in the background I found at the last minute and just added, I think it does the ambiance justice. Also, one thing that struck me as amazing is the small file size, clocking in at about 501 Kilobytes.

So that's it, the dude killed himself. Now this little event brings more questions than it answers. Who was cutting the wires in the computer room? Who was this man? How did he sneak a gun into the airport? and What the hell is the blue sky experiment? Well, they'll be answered at a later time. Did I mean to end the chapter this way? Yup. I planned it since the beginning.

I have nothing to add now. I'll leave you with this catchy pop song from that teen movie I never watched with that dude from Titanic in the 90s. The song is by The Cardigans, and yes. You guessed it, it's Lovefool. Whatever.

LAX: Light Motion Dreams: Update.
"no question for you." (12/05/06)

Notice anything different in this page? Yup, it's very subtle. No idea as to what it is, huh? It's the glow effect, peeps. The glow effect is added to only certain panels, the panels taking place outside, as making it seem like rain. I kinda like it this way, and that's totally cool in my book.

Jesus, this page reminds me of how much I hate 0.7 lead pencils. These lines smudge if you pass your hand over them, and the lines are thick and ugly. I hate that. I miss my old 0.5 lead pencils, those, those are things you can draw with. Unlike 0.7 pens, I hate them. The original page was so thick, so smudged, that I had to outline it with this very cool generic pen.


These are the visits to the lax.comicdish.com site, they seem to jump around with *gasp* 7 to 8 people coming there. Aside from that. nothing. This make me feel sad? Probably. Probably not, who cares, they're just numbers. Anyways, I got you (the lost souls reading this.) and if you are reading this, you probably like what I do, so cheers to you.


Looking over my phpMyVisites, I notice one thing that is slightly, yet somewhat interesting, disturbing. Aside from the lack of visits to the main page. I usually get hits from people either looking for MP3s, or people looking for song lyrics. Everything from John Mayer lyrics ("one day this generation, will rule the population") to Kansascail "If I...." downloads. That kinda rocks, and hey, people are seeing this comic, even if they only stay for 30 seconds.

I was totally gonna update the radio.blog with more songs today, but I decided, nah. I'll do that later, somewhere, somehow. I had a batch of songs lined up, but having to edit the playlist.xml file is a bitch. Or in other terms, for the people that have radioblogs, you know how you can update a song to the sounds folder and it'll appear automatically? Well, I can't do that. I use the xml verison of the radio.blog, which means every time I upload a song, I have to edit this file called "playlist.xml" to get the song on the blog. And in response to Anonymous. My radio.blog is indeed better than yours, you idea stealer. (OMG, you've been dissed.)

Oh, yeah. I totally updated my flickr account, which is just awesome (with a side of sauce.)



Check out the full version here.

Now, as Peter Frampton, would say. Oh, baby I love your way. But seeing as I have no one to say that to, I'll quote another famous Peter Frampton song, Do you feel like I do?

That's the awesome thing about Peter Frampton, you can't say his name without mentioning his last name, try it out, doesn't sound right, right?

Told you.

I'm making a new comic called Harbor Freeway, which will hopefully update everyday. This comic is different in the way that instead of making an 8 panel page comic, every update will be one panel. The story will be told in a somewhat storyboard way. Why you ask? Well, I kinda like drawing one panel at the time, it's much easier to do, and it also gives me more freedom.


Oh, and if you're totally wondering, the Harbor Freeway is a major freeway in Los Angeles that goes from Downtown Los Angeles, all the way to San Pedro and the Port of Long Beach. Thus it is naturally called the Harbor Freeway (The Official California state name is the Interstate 110). The cool thing about this freeway is not the elevated Carpool lane, but rather that high freeway ramp that gives an awesome view of Los Angeles at night.

So what's Harbor Freeway about? It's about this young lady that has a strange encounter on the Harbor Freeway with a very quiet man. A man that says he's meeting God soon. The story revolves in and around the encounter and the young lady's personal life until reaching the conclusion.

A very (bitter)sweet one actually.

Sound familiar? It's a story based on the song Counting Blue Cars by Dishwalla. Of course, it was written by John Q, who is pretty much an awesome person. So here it is.

Harbor Freeway
a short story about life on the harbor freeway.
written by: john q.
drawn by: terminal.

LAX: Light Motion Dreams: Update.
"_'wtf' would not cut it in this situation"" (12/03/06)

So I missed the Friday update, and I update today with a page bigger than the recent ones, how's that for making it up? Anyways, I kinda love this page, though I hate the way 0.7 pencil scans. I need to go out and buy some 0.5 lead pencils, then I can have that slick, fine line feeling. Until then, I'll have to deal with it. Oh well (I can't go a post without saying that.) I tried something new in this page, I tried cleaner lines and whatnot. The difference is stunning.


Now on to other things. I recently got over 900 MBs of webspace, which means I can finally add more music to my radioblog. Hooray. (I also moved the radioblog from freewebs.com) The music added is varied, there's familiar favorites from the Rolling Stones and Telefon Tel Aviv, to almost unknown wonderful artists. It's a massive update that I hope you'll enjoy. This addition of music is the first step in the war against this radioblog, which I'm actually listening to right now (Daft Punk - Aerodynamic).

Also note, I changed the colors of the radioblog to match the site more, fantastic.


The second thing I'd love to mention is the two SketchUp models I've made. One, the LAX model, which I've fixed. I deleted alot things, fixed some miss aligned buildings. I deleted the pylons and the old control tower, replaced by better looking models. The biggest change in the LAX model is the deletion of the second floor of road (Departures Level), this entire floor caused the model to slow down. It's gone now, and it also looks a lot better. The second model I made was a little experiment in textures. It is a hallway, a simple hallway. The original picture is here, the model lookalike is below.

Now the biggest news is this, you can view both these models in your browser. Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox, all you have to do is look below.

The LAX Model

The LAX model requires a medium end computer, a 4-3, maybe 5 year old computer. If it can run The Sims 2 without slowing down (or maybe Indigo Prophecy) then you'll be okay. I had to try it on a newer computer, which it worked on. Cheers. (click here)

The Terminal Hallway (EXIT) Model

The Terminal Hallway (EXIT) Model requires a low end computer, as old as 7 years. It is the same old as that flickr image. It runs perfectly on my computer, so if you got a newer computer, it'd run pretty damn fast. (click here)

Both these HTML pages require the Hypercosm Player. A plug in that displays the model in whatever browser you use. Be sure to download it if you want to see some more SketchUp models. It's a great little player.

That's all I have to say today, I guess I'm out.

Hey peeps, nothing interesting is happening to me this week, so I decided to do some game reviews, of course, be known. I'm a gamer of different tastes, I'd give any game, no matter how bad, a chance. So let's get on with it, people. Let's start this!

Myxo's Game Review: Duke Nukem 3D: Atomic Pack

• Publisher: Apogee Software
  
• Developer: 3D Realms
  
• Platform Reviewed On: Sony Vaio PC
  
• Engine: Bulid
  
• Genre: First Person Shooter
  
• Release Date: 01/26/96
  
• Origin: United States
  
• Rating: Mature

Let's go back to the 90's, when the future was bright, when West Coast rapper Tupac was at war with East Coast rapper B.I.G. when the radio was filled with grunge, alternative was changing and Rocko's Modern Life was still on air. Back to the decade of "hey, it doesn't matter." Before the Matrix and after Blade Runner, before Family Guy was the show everyone was watching. Back when The Simpsons was the shining staple of humor and Bevis and Butthead was our icon, back when MTV still played music.

Remember? Yeah, how times have changed. Let's look at the games. Duke Nukem 3D to be exact. What is called the greatest shooter of our time.

Here I am, looking back at a simpler time. When games were just games, they were fun to play I have Duke Nukem 3D installed on my computer (along with Duke it out in DC, Duke Caribbean-Life's a Beach, Nuclear Winter, Duke!Zone 2 Penthouse Paradise Level, The Gate and Xtreme) so why not, Let's review Duke Nukem Atomic Pack.

I still can't believe how great this game was, and still is. The staple of shooters. The gameplay is simple, mouse and keyboard. Unlike shooters of now, your biggest fear is letting the aliens win. Here, ammo is all over the place, the guns are big and the violence is intense. This is nonstop action, nonstop violence with a hero that only cares about himself, babes and kicking alien ass. The controls are simple, you move with WASD and you shoot with the left button on your mouse. It's hard at first if this is the first time playing a shooter on your comp, but you'll get used to it. Remember, this game proves shooters work well on PCs (try Perfect Dark on the PC, you'll see what I mean.) Once you get over the learning curve (about two minutes) you'll be blasting aliens and being a major badass.

The levels are fantastic, destructable, and fun to run around in. Well though-out levels with plenty of secerts. The levels are well detailed, and very, very fun to go shooting and running. From Hollywood Holocaust, to Area 51, Freeway and Shop n' Bag, The White House (Duke it Out in DC) to It's Impossible. Hell, these levels are the kind that are impossible to get bored with, there are so many things to find, which leads to another point, humor. Not to mention, they look how you think they should, with the smallest details in place.

Now the humor is where it's all at, from Beavis in the Drive Thru at Duke Burger (Go away, we're like, closed) to hearing Duke say "I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of gum." Playing this game is like going down a trip on memory lane. From the Gulity! and Innocent? billboards to OJ's Bronco on the TV. From seeing 867-5309 written on the bathroom wall to seeing the dog compound next to Duke Burger. From the crushed Terminator to Snake Plisken's head on a stick (I guess he didn't escape from LA.) Not to mention the fellow stabs at other shooters of the time, like the dead space marine (that's one DOOMED marine) and the building being rocked by a quake (I ain't afraid of no quake.) Back then this stuff was extreme. Getting health when Duke pees inside the toilet, Strippers that flash you (or hearing those girls moan on that movie set at XXX-Stacy) and the various, crude jokes. By now, the only raunchy thing about Duke Nukem is the Penthouse level, with various and various things not meant for children (The various Penthouse "Pets" and the magazine shoots). Cool thing is, you'll look back and say, "hahaha, I can't believe they got away with that."

The audio by now is hit or miss, the only thing that didn't survive all these years, MIDI just isn't what it was anymore (take a look at Sim City 2000, the MIDI songs are still catchy.) The Duke sound clips are still king, baby.

By now, this game is not shocking, but it can still get jumps from you. Sure, the enemies consist of a sprite in a 3D world, but hell, brightness lowered, and playing in a dark room. Once you step in a dark hallway in LA or the Space Station, walking slowly, no enemies in sight, then BAM, out of fucking nowhere. An alien jumps out, tell me you didn't jump the sightest bit. Considering the graphics by now are pretty laughable, they still look fantastic and they can still pack a punch.

Graphics, the textures, and Visa credit cards. You can tell the artists went through alot of work to detail every single bit of this game, every nook and cranny, all crafted with love. From the LARD pigs to the aliens. Sprites or not, they still look better than some textures in some modern shooters. Now, I play this game with the graphics rendered as polygons (OpenGL makes the game run too slow.) which makes everything run smooth. Cheers to that.

The guns are great, unlike shooters of now. Each gun is usable thought the game (Quake 4) each gun is fun to play with and very destructive. There is something about shooting some LARD cop with a shotgun, or shrinking them and stepping on them. Each gun packs a wallop.

I'm tired, I wish I could talk more of this game, and it's expansion packs (Duke it Out in DC, Penthouse and Nuclear Winter) but sadly everything I've said has been said time and time before, nothing will ever change. 3D Realms perfected the shooter and brought a revolution, cheers to that. And here's a $20 dollar bet. Duke Nukem Forever gets released September 2008.

myxomatosis's final score: [9.98 out of 10]

..and hey, that's like totally my opinion.